Taichi's Daily Journal
by Hikari Takaishi
Summary: You've gotta be kinda understanding to read this. 'Cause it's from a teenage boy's POV. (It's hard to write stuff like this. o.o;) But um, Taichi tries to deal with his life and writes it in his journal. R/R/I for me. (Read, review, insult.) Hikari Takais


**August 1.** Are guys even supposed to keep journals? It sounds girlish to me. But my dad said that every man should have a piece of memory in hand. I guess that means Dad thinks I'm a man now. Heh…

**August 4**. I told Yamato about my beginning of a journal. He admitted that he had one too. 'Cept his is probably filled with music notes and lyrics and all the crap. I wonder what I'll fill mine with?

**August 6**. I asked Sora out today. She said yes. I figured she would. (Joking.) I don't exactly know why I feel so deeply about her now. I've known her for a while… Again, I talked to Yamato, he said that we're getting to that stage where we guys don't know what we're doing any more. And that we're going to start doing things for girls that we don't exactly know why. I guess this is one of those times. I wonder how Yamato knows so much already. 

**August 15**. Dad actually came home drunk. That's a frightening thought. It's my dad. He's the same guy that told me about school, sports, and girls. I don't think Hikari was up when he got home. That's a good thing. She would have worried and tried to make things better, like she always does. But Dad was berserk; he wouldn't let anyone talk to him, he wouldn't talk to anyone. Mom stayed up with him the entire night. By the time I and Hikari woke up, they finally went to bed. Hikari asked me what was wrong, I just said that he needed to talk to her, that's all. 

**August 20** Sora's shop was robbed. Those are some pitiful bastards; the ones who stole the money.

**September 24** Dad finally found out that Sora was my girlfriend. He told Mom and they told me the responsibilities of having a relationship. How stupid… they make up rules for everything. There's probably a rule on rules. I hate rules. Being a teenager sucks.

**September 28** I took Sora out for a movie last night. When we were walking home, she told me how she was scolded for having a boyfriend, and when I went into the shop to ask her out, and how she said yes. How many times does her mom scold her a day? I apologized, but she told me not to worry. She said that she'd get outta her mom's scolding someday. When I came home, Hikari was asleep already. I was getting a late snack, when Dad came home. …He was drunk again. Why is he getting wasted all the time nowadays?

**October 5** This is sickening; a whole week has past through. Six out of the seven nights, Dad came home drunk! This has to be bad for his health! Each time, I was still awake, but Hikari was asleep. Once my mom fell asleep before he got home. I woke up and he stumbled himself into the bathroom. I don't like seeing him this way. It's kind of freaky.

**October 27** I danced my mind to death with Sora at the dance. It was fun. But I came home and nobody was home. I found a note saying that it was going to be awhile 'til they got home. It was fine with me. The house seemed peaceful for awhile. 

**November 16 **Sora broke up with me. Why? 'Cause of stupid rumors. I wasn't going to break up with her for a stupid, peppy cheerleader. Who ever started them rumors, he's gonna pay. I bet it was that jackass Kuzuzu. He made a move right after she moved me out of her life! That zu-zu guy has to pay. Humph, to get back with a weak revenge, I did go out with that airhead cheerleader. I don't think I like her that much. I just can't show Sora that I'm falling behind. 'Cuz I'm not.

**Nov. 22** Dad has been sober for awhile.

**ThanksG'** Today was a great day. Talk about all the food! Everything was perfect. Except the fact that Sora isn't mine any more. It's kind of upsetting when this is all I have to write down.

**Nov. 30** That jackass Kazuzu freak! He pinched Sora's butt! She could've slapped him, but no, she didn't. She just blushed. He's getting the wrong idea about her!! I put my arm around the airhe--I mean Fifi. She slapped me and giggled annoyingly. It's hard to be a guy.

**December13** I wonder how long Dad is going to keep up his drunken enthusiasm. I picked that up from my mom. I couldn't come up with a fancy saying like that. C'mon, think about it.

**December 16** Yep, Dad came home drunk again. He started to cry at the table with my mom trying to comfort him. I don't feel as proud of him any more. Not that he cried… but because he comes home nearly every night simply wasted. I wonder why he won't tell me what's going on. He said himself that I'm ready to know what goes on in the adult world, but he's not letting me in. That's a funny saying. Let me in, Dad, it's me, Taichi, your son.

**Dec. 21** I'm with Sora again. More details later.

**December 21** (It's later now.) I dumped the girl I was with. She was too airy… even for me. I asked Sora out, I didn't know she was still with the zuzu guy. He heard me ask her out and he punched me. I punched back. He tackled. I kicked. To sum it all up, we fought. Sora was screaming for us to stop, but he didn't let up, so I didn't let up. After awhile, Sora pulled me up and told me that she would. So I'm with Sora again. I don't feel pity for the zuzu guy. Sora's my girl. 

**December 24 **I climbed to Sora's window today. It just felt right to see her before Christmas. I gave her a kiss. Not just a kiss. But a kiss. She opened the window and we talked a little bit. After a minute or two, I leaned in and kissed her on the lips. It felt good. Very good. 

**December 29** Hikari went into the hospital again. Dad wasn't there to see her off. I bet he was drunk. 

**December 30** I had a nightmare last night; I dreamt that Hikari was a little girl again, when we were going through the Digital World the first time 'round. I remember how she was sick, and it scared me when I didn't know what was wrong. Anyway, in my dream, Hikari never got well. She kept getting whiter and whiter. And when I visited her, she told me that she loved me. I think in my dream she said, "Remember that I love you, Big Brother." I heard the painful siren declaring death, but before Hikari closed her eyes… I woke up. Dreams are symbols in disguise, aren't they? Does this mean that I'm really worried about my little sister? Or does this mean that she might…

**January 1st 2001** I kissed Sora again. I told her that I loved her, that I wouldn't leave her, and that I'm sorry about the airhead. She said everything back, and she said she was sorry about the zuzu dumb jock guy. Takeru seems to be taking Hikari's illness rather well. He's visiting her even more than I am. I won't compete; I know he loves her. And I'm not going to stand in his way. I trust him. Now if it were Daisuke on the other hand…

**January 6** Dad came home drunk again. I can't see my dad as a drunkard. Again, I got that word from my mom. I didn't even know there was such a thing. I mean, I knew what a dunk was, but I didn't know that drunkard was a word. Drunkard, junkyard. It seems to fit perfectly, my dad is going down hill, he drinks, he gets wasted, and it's like he's tossing his life into the garbage. 

**Jan 9** Jeez, Dad came home, again drunk, and yelled at me for the absence of my baby sister. He nearly smacked me across the face, but I blocked. It's starting to freak me out, the way he's acting…

**January 13 **Dad successfully pushed me into the kitchen table. I don't know how to explain the broken dishes to Mom.

**Jan 22** Hikari's out of the hospital! Takeru beat me in the longest hug ever. We arrived and I hugged her tightly, but when I let go, Takeru swooped over and held her in his arms. If he ever hurts her, I'll… He won't. He's a good kid…

**Jan 29** Dammit all, Hikari's sick again. I don't know what's going on any more. She's acting as if she were to die. Her attitude did a 180 on me, she's worried about herself. Sora got her time to shine in the school newspaper… I'm proud of her. I'm sorry if I don't show it right now, it's just family matters.

**February 12** Hikari's barely able to lift a pencil. I saw the tears in her eyes when the doctors said Takeru and I couldn't stay. 

**Feb 14** Sora hurt her shoulder, I gave her a massage. Hikari saw Takeru, they said that they loved each other. Koushiro finally noticed that Sora and I were a couple. Jyou passed a test. Mimi sounded happy. And Daisuke is trying to improve his soccer skills. And later today, I'm going to take Sora out to the park and act like me, an overgrown kid… ^_^

**Feb. 24** Today we had sex ed. It was… nerve racking. That's what my friends and I agreed on. I tried not to show it to Sora. But she kept looking over, making me even more nervous. I don't think I'm ready to be a teenager. …It's embarrassing. 

**Feb 26** Dad wasn't wasted, so I talked to him last night. I told him about the class and how I was really nervous. He laughed at me. I was angry, embarrassed, and ashamed of myself. I couldn't tell him the real reason I was _really_ embarrassed. Maybe I should just drop the subject. …It's embarrassing.

**March 3** Hikari's still in the hospital. It's the longest she's ever been in there.

**March 4** The guys are starting to bring the topic of sex into our conversations. I start to get embarrassed again. On the second, one of my friends jokingly asked if Sora and I already "proved our love". I got angry and I punched him in the eye. He returned with a punch in the eye. I started to fight him with ease. I thought I should tell Sora… she first took it the wrong way, then she started to cry when she realized I set that bastard straight. Mom would kill me if she ever found out I used bad words. All well.

**March19** Hikari's out again. She said that she was going to give Takeru another biggest hug ever. And she did. It makes me happy when I see her smile like that. Yamato asked me a weird question today; I don't know if I want to talk about it… It's kind of… weird.

**March 25** Yamato got a gig in a restaurant. Hikari's back in the hospital. Koushiro enter a huge computer contest. Yamato asked me another weird question. Jyou and Mimi talked on the phone. Then Mimi and Yamato. I wonder how expensive her phone bill is. Daisuke finally got up to his game and proved Ken's couch that he's a good player. He's not on Ken's team. He fainted when he heard the news. What a funny, funny guy. 

**March 26** Yamato's question came across my mind again when Dad came home from drinking. Mom was away, visiting Hikari. I was left to try to snap the sense into my father. He successfully pushed me into the kitchen counter. I'm lucky we weren't having a home-cooked meal today, I could've been cut with a knife. Dad yelled at me, saying that it was my fault that Hikari was gone. Yamato's question raced across my mind. Still yelling, he blamed me for Mom not talking to him. Question, question, question. Yelling even louder, he said I was the reason he was drinking. I was fed up with him. I started yelling back, keeping a good distance, and I told him that it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault that Hikari is sick, that Mom won't talk to him, that he is drinking his mind out; I told him it was his. For once in my life, I understood the meaning of "Silence is deafening."

**March 27** Dad won't talk to me. Mom won't talk to Dad. I won't speak to either of 'em. Sora and I got upset with each other. She complained about her mom, I complained about my dad. Hikari seems to be getting weaker. And Yamato's question still goes through my mind. _Is this what you call a good life, Taichi?_ I don't know Yamato. 

**April 4 **Dad came home again. He was drunk. What else is new? This time, he blamed Mom for his bad choices. He was about to push Mom when I pushed him. He stumbled back into the living room. "Boy, you're gonna regret that," he warned me. "C'mon and punish me then," I snarled. My mom went into her room, crying into her hands. It was the first time I punched my father. And although he warned me that I would regret it, I don't. I don't regret it, and I don't think I'll ever regret it.

**April 16** Yamato is going to play tonight at the restaurant. He started to fall apart before they began. Mimi attempted to make things better. But I think I personally helped Yamato put himself together. I was talking to him in the back after Mimi left. "Is this what _you_ call a good life, Yamato?" I asked. "Music… yes, this is what I call a good life." Answered Yamato. "Then make it worthwhile." I said. He grinned and we shared a slight hug. His first question raced through my mind. I shook it off. Sora's my girl. That's it… Nothing or no one is going to tell me that she isn't… 

**April 30 **Hikari's out again. I hope she stays out forever. But when she was in the hospital, she was safer. Safer from Dad. I won't let him do this to anyone else. It's pathetic. Yamato told me that it was something that all dads go through. His dad, too, went through the drinking phase shortly after the divorce. Yamato and I have a strange relationship; we fight, we talk, we laugh, we hug, and then we get confused. He's my best friend…

**May 14** Hikari's in again.

**May 28 **Breaking news: Hikari and Takeru aren't a couple no more. Sora and I both agreed that it was to prove their love for each other.

**May 29** My friends brung up the topic of sex again. I thought we were over that. Brung? I mean brought. Yamato talked to me again. We came across that same topic. What can I say? We're curious. I wonder if girls think about this too? I came home, embarrassed. I was the only one wearing a coat around the house. My dad laughed at me again. I didn't say anything…

**June 4** I don't know if I love Sora as much as I did before. I don't know how to explain it. I don't want to say that I don't love her, because I do. But Yamato's question from a month or so ago still races through my mind. 

**June 6** Dad went to get help with his drinking. It's about time. 

**July 6** Exactly one month since I last wrote. Hikari and Takeru are together again. Sora and I were right, it was like a test for their love. Hikari was so happy. …I love seeing my little sister happy. She is in the hospital, but for mild reasons; a sudden chill and a weird fever. Takeru is spending every spare minute with her. I'll be glad when I hear the news that they're going to marry. Ha, I'm thinking way ahead of myself.

**July 24** Sora saw a teenager with a baby today. She talked to me about it. She asked if I would ever consider having kids. I jokingly remarked about the fun that I would have before the baby was even born. She slugged me in the arm and I laughed. Yamato and I talked about it over the phone, babies that is. We said that we'd love having the kids, but we also wished the girls didn't have to go through all the pain. My mom once said that that is what every woman has in common; she knows how much it hurts, or how much it would, to give birth to a baby. Yamato said he could picture a little me with big hair running around the school play area. We laughed. It was relaxing to have a discussion like that with out getting embarrassed. 

**July 25** Hikari got out of the hospital. Dad came home drunk. It was his first night being drunk since he went to get help, I think. He wasn't totally wasted like he was many times before. But when he saw Hikari, he hung his head and walked into the bedroom. I don't think anyone will ever tell Hikari what happened while she was away. She'd try to make things better. She always tries to make things better.

**July 26** Three days in a row I wrote. Wow, I never knew a journal could be so relaxing. Yamato found a note I gave to him when we were in fifth grade. Man, did I have messy handwriting! I won't even go into the spelling issues! Let's jusd saye I had to trie too hard to reed my speling. Haha. Yamato and I talked about that for hours. I think I know why I don't love Sora as much any more…

**July 31** I just felt like doing something for a minute.

**August 3** Sora and I were voted cutest couple over the summer. I told Yamato, but he didn't seem too thrilled. Neither did I. His first question from so long ago keeps racing through my thoughts.

**September 1** I went to visit Yamato again. We were going to talk about the upcoming school year. How can I tell this next part? Well, I did figure out why I don't love Sora as much any more. And it pains me for thinking about it. But, I think I love someone else. Something happened with me and Yamato, I don't want to go into details. I panicked and raced out of his house and to Sora. I asked her a foolish question. I asked her to marry me someday. To start a new life with me someday. To have a family with me someday. …I don't want to start a deep relationship with her. Why am I putting her through this? Am I just needing to "experiment"? She said yes. …Too bad I might hurt her. She's a sweet girl.

**September 2** After this, I'm out of room. I'll make this entry worth reading. To sum up my year, Dad went through his drinking phase and got over it when Hikari came home. Hikari herself went through an illness phase. Takeru stood by her side 98% of the time. The other 2%, he was away from her because of the break-up. Koushiro won a new laptop, Miyako gained his old one. Jyou is now moving onto his advanced classes this year, and there's no doubt that he'll pass each one. Ken and Daisuke are soccer champions. Iori, wow, I haven't talked about him, I don't think… anyway, Iori is still in his Kendo or Kendu or whatever that thing is called. And he gained his mother's trust. She trusted him before, but he didn't trust her. Now he does. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. Mimi has a new fashion statement… it's funny but cute in its own way. Sora and her mom are getting along, even though she still doesn't trust her fully. As for Yamato, his band had grown successful, he passed by the screaming girls with out getting his hair messed up, (that's a major plus advantage for Yamato) and our friendship seems closer. I wonder what'll happen in this new year. Everyone ends his or her journals with a big bang… I'll leave mine with this: Throughout the years, kids grow up; they turn into teenagers and learn about things they never thought they'd want to learn before. But if a stained night falls into their memory, they could slip away from their family within minutes… Life is a simple concept to understand; if only people could understand it. -Yagami Taichi


End file.
